When my kidneys went on strike - Henry P Snicklesnorter

WHEN MY KIDNEYS WENT ON STRIKE

Back when I was fifty eight, my kidneys called a strike
The body soon objected, but was told to take a hike.
“We're sick of doing all the work,” the kidney spokesman said
“And if we're not here to do the work, you other parts are dead.”

Well the body wasn't happy, and so that very day,
A summit meeting was proposed, to find a different way,
To keep old Henry going, for at least a few more years,
And all the different body parts, spoke up with their ideas.

“We'll just carry on regardless,” said the brain, with great bravado,
But the other parts said, “break it down, fair dinkum, what would you know?”
“Your thinkings getting fuzzy, removed from us down here,”
“We need a real solution, and bloody quick, that's clear.”

“That pair of lazy mongrels, have got us by the throat,”
“We've got to pull together lads, to keep us all afloat”
The haemoglobin had it's say and said, “I'm fading fast,”
“Unless we work out something quick, I don't think I can last.”

The bones said “we're degrading,” the skin said with a twitch,
”I'm breaking out in little sores, and a really nasty itch,”
The feet reported swelling, the eyes began to dim,
The way things were progressing, it was looking rather grim

The heart said “I'm in trouble,” the lungs said “we are too”
The liver and the pancreas, said “what else can we do?”
Just then a quiet voice was heard, from somewhere down below,
“I am the peritoneum - and I'll give it a go”

“I can do a year or three,” it said, “at least we'll all survive,”
“While Henry works out long-term plans, to keep us all alive.”
And so it was, though not without some trauma on the way,
Then Henry moved to Home HD, to fight another day.

Long hours on slow nocturnal, near good as transplant some will say,
And the body wakes up feeling great, looks forward to each day,
And what about those kidneys, who thought they controlled the play?
They're just a pair of bludgers, - who needs them anyway?